Humans fancy a love that focuses on the spirit, the soul, the personality of whoever they fall inlove-with.
A love that’s not based on merely physical appearance.
Yet,
what do we do when the Person we came to love – is.not.there?
It’s a curious one, imho.
Say, you love your child/parent – pick your poison.
Now, say you discover your parent was a murderer – do you love Them-Person, or
is it the physicality of maybe their genetic connection with yourself? The memories You may have of them as a child? Memories that are made by and based on some projections you may have made as a child – rather than who.parent.actually.was/is. (again, it’s the physicality, eg, appearance of a parent, rather than who they are as an animal, as a life.)
Yet,
say in love affairs of lovers, is it a question from physicality – a look – that comes kinda quirky?
A human may fancy another’s Look – however, it’s beyond the look sensations when love comes. A human both want to come perceived, conceived and vise versa – regardless of their look. Our physicality may alter, yet, we want to hope that wouldn’t alter nor end a love affair.
However, suppose the Personality alters?
Say you met a devote christian that became a stranger to any religious notions?
How about a life long lover that you have traveled with throughout the globe – and suddenly they do Need to settle down?
Their personality has altered, yet physically they may come pretty much the same –
yet it’s the personality that we kinda love??!!
Perhaps the whole question set here is a false – in sense of not relevant – and naive kinda queries?
Afterall, it is not a question of physicality divorced from mentality.
It’s a whole kinda package despite the fact a person may suddenly look very different (after an accident, for example) – and yet come and go as they used to. Or a person may alter their personality, and look pretty much like they used to..
Perhaps again, it’s a question of a narrative?
A love as a leap into a narrative, a story that you are in some kind of a connection with??
A murderer’s child may love their murdering parent. As a child may Need to love their parent. Yet, acknowledge that the murder bit does not automatically implicates the child Into the killing narrative.
It’s a hard one, since in case the parent – continuing here with crass examples – was the inventor of the wheel, or lego, or some such,
the child may not keep schtoom about it as they might have in case of the killer-parent,
however
the parent’s fabulousness would not make the child fab either. Indeed, the child might end up becoming a killer.
The love between parents and children, comes as a readymade life-time relationship – however, the narrative alters throughout personalities.
eg
the child as a child may love their parent in a different way than later in life, not just through age, but also the common narrative they may fancy to get involved, connected and implicated with – and how.